Wednesday, October 14, 2015

The Mystery of the Missing Sweetener

The Mystery of the Missing Sweetener

 I admit it.  I like an occasional cup of hot tea.  It is relaxing.  It can be a little bit of comfort and warmth during a hectic day.  I never know when I might need a cup of hot tea so I keep some tea bags in my desk drawer.  I also keep a sandwich bag of low-calorie sweetener in the same drawer.  It is not much but it is mine.  There should be nobody else in my tea drawer.
 Why is it that half a baggie of low-calorie sweetener is now missing?  There is no hole in the baggie.  I haven’t needed hot tea comfort in weeks.  It is a mystery.
 Did the half a baggie of low-calorie sweetener get up and walk out on its own?  That seems highly unlikely.  It is not yummy pure cane sugar.  It is a baggie of low-calorie sweetener for goodness sake.  It doesn’t have the energy for that kind of movement. 
 Perhaps, someone really wanted some hot tea.  They just couldn’t wait for me.  I can understand that.  Sometimes, you need a cup of tea.  I’ll put this into the possible column.  Half a baggie of sweetener is going to make a very sweet cup of tea.  To the sweet tea drinking thief, I am not here to subsidize your habit. Get your own sweetener.  Join a program.  Stay out of my drawer.
 It could be a kleptomaniac.  Kleptomaniacs like to steal things.  A baggie of low-calorie sweetener is a thing, or two things.  The problem is that only half a thing was missing.  I am not sure but I would think that any self-respecting kleptomaniac would steal the whole baggie of sweetener.  I will say this is possible but not probable.
 That leaves me with a druggie thief.  I don’t think a regular thief would bother with half a baggie of low-calorie sweetener.  It would have to be an idiot druggie thief.  To mistake low-calorie sweetener with drugs would have to mean the druggie thief was an idiot.  Can you imagine the disappointment that was had when the idiot druggie thief tried to snort it?

 That leaves me with a suspect list of a sweet tea junkie and an idiot druggie thief.  There is no doubt about it.  I am throwing away the remaining half a baggie of low-calorie sweetener and disinfecting my desk.